A Fearful Symmetry
by Dr-Lovekill
Summary: There is a circle and a balance to all things, a destiny for the individual and the universe, and we are but a small part of it. Itachi and Sakura find themselves questioning fate, and trying to understand they can't have what they want...each other.


_I took a short break from "The Last Ninja" to write this oneshot that has been on my mind, and eating at me to write it for some time. The events of this fic occur as the team are searching for Sasuke, and shortly before Itachi and Sasuke meet for their final fight. I have attempted (sometimes struggled) to keep Sakura and Itachi completely in-character, and to make sure this fic remains plausible within the main plot of the actual story, despite its obvious non-canonical existence. The premise, the moral if you will of this story is something I have recently realized myself, which inspired me to write this, and that is the inescapable symmetry to everything around us, and our own destinies. I hope you the readers enjoy this fic, and can take something away from it, either philosophically, or from the emotional impact of it. Please review, I look forward to any and all feedback on this one._

Why it was that the team split up to search the area separately probably does not matter. How it was that it was Uchiha Itachi and Haruno Sakura whose paths crossed can be debated or overlooked as a simple moot occurrence in the train of events. But in the end, it was not the sheer essence of chance, nor the accident of faulty will, but the inescapable hand of destiny which shaped these events…

On their search for Sasuke, feeling that their comrade was surely near, Sakura found herself separated from her teammates by order, speeding through the forest in a dragnet, each nin dedicated to finding the rogue Sasuke with an almost blind determination. The stern look on the young woman's face mirrored her resolve, and she thought of her missing teammate as she plunged through the forest. Old memories…old oaths. It was a matter of perfect timing when she leapt down from the tall tree onto the dry, dusty ground below.

It was also a matter of fate's meticulous calculation that Itachi, hastening to meet Sasuke as well, ran through the trees, yet another sentient being with thoughts locked on the younger Uchiha, albeit for different reasons than the others. He came to a quick and quiet halt as Sakura dropped to the ground in front of him, startling and almost disrupting the stoical demeanor of the S-ranked nin. He quickly pulled two kunai.

Sakura sensed a presence behind her, and in a flash had drawn a kunai-knife of her own, and spun about to face the threat. For a moment, the two enemies stared each other down, Sakura almost afraid to make the first move on an opponent so much more powerful than she, and Itachi not yet willing to loose the power of his sharingan upon the girl. So they stood in uneasy silence for a momentary eternity.

"You!" Sakura finally managed to gasp.

"Yes…me." Itachi replied in a half-bored, half-irritated tone. "You _know_ me."

"Itachi Uchiha." Sakura spat, gripping her kunai tightly. "I should kill you right now."

"Perhaps you should…" Itachi said in a monotone matching his countenance, "But you know you cannot, and I have more important things to do at the moment. Step aside and leave me be." Sakura was almost taken aback by the evil shinobi's unwillingness to fight. She narrowed her eyes.

"Why should I? What is this important business?"

"My business is…no business of yours…Sakura Haruno." Itachi said. Another moment of silence passed. "I remember you from the fight your team had with my clone."

"Well I'll give you something else to remember me by!" Sakura cried, letting fly the kunai toward Itachi's head. He evaded the knife as if it were a bug. "Oh yeah?" Sakura yelled. Suddenly, six shuriken shot from her hands. Itachi's form flashed out of view. Sakura, sensing the situation, turned, and swung a mighty punch out at Itachi, now standing behind her. With little attempt, he seized her wrist, and shoved Sakura against a thick-trunked tree.

"I do not want to kill you." Itachi said.

"Yeah?" Sakura replied, glowering at Itachi. "You don't want to kill? Is _that_ the reason you killed your entire clan?"

"You cannot begin to understand why it is I am who I am." Itachi said. Sakura felt his hand tremble and his grip weaken. She seized the opportunity and broke his hold on her wrist, and threw herself at Itachi, throwing another punch. Itachi blocked the strike, and leapt back.

"Phoenix Flower Jutsu!" He called out. He let loose a half-dozen disc-shaped fireballs toward Sakura, who leapt to one side, bounded off of a tree, and gracefully cleared the fiery wave of destruction. She touched ground in time to see Itachi running toward her. He swung a kunai at her abdomen, but she was quick enough to parry it with a kunai of her own, one Itachi did not notice that she had pulled from a different pouch. He sliced upward, seemingly finding a hole in her defense, and cut her arm. Sakura's kunai sliced out too, hers cutting through Itachi's cloak, scoring a small cut on his right arm. For a moment, they backed off, staring at one another. Itachi coughed.

"If you want to kill me, you will have to cut better than that." He finally muttered. Sakura grinned.

"Heh. I don't have to. I learned a thing or two from your friend Sasori." She said.

"Wha…" Itachi gasped, looking down at his arm.

"Getting a little tingly, I bet." The pink haired kunoichi spoke. "And in a moment, you'll not be able to move at all. It's over."

"No…" Itachi gasped, sounding almost horrified. "This…this can't be." He fell to his knees. "You don't understand…" He coughed again, and blood spattered on his lips. He quickly licked the crimson stains from his mouth, but Sakura had seen it all.

"That's…not a side-effect of the poison…" She said. Itachi was on his hands and knees, gasping for breath.

"Quite….quite obser….vant." He rasped. He fell face first on the ground. "Please…help…me."

"Why should I?" Sakura replied. "I should leave you here and let the poison run its course."

"No…" Itachi groaned. "…Sasuke…."

"Sasuke?" Sakura asked, suddenly interested. "What do you know about Sasuke?"

"Please…hurry…the antidote." Itachi gasped. Sakura hesitated a moment, then slowly pulled a syringe from her pouch.

"How do I know you aren't going to try to kill me soon as I give you the antidote?" She asked cautiously, wanting desperately to hear what he knew about Sasuke, but not willing to jeopardize her own life for a trick.

"You don't." Was the reply. The striking honesty gave strength to her will, and she slowly moved toward the criminal. She heard him cough again, and knew there was something seriously wrong with the young man's health. She knelt down, and rolled the helpless man over. His eyes were hazy and stared at her with a fearful pleading look that didn't match his notoriety. She unfastened his cloak, and pulled it down enough to bare his left arm.

"Here." She said softly, piercing his arm with the needle. She injected the antitoxin and withdrew the syringe. Itachi took a deep breath, and Sakura could hear a rattling in his chest that would've probably been ignored by anyone who wasn't a medic. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She whispered. She slowly pulled his black cloak from his shoulders, and lowered her head onto Itachi's chest, placing an ear against his body. He inhaled again, and Sakura heard the telltale rattle of an advanced respiratory disease. The blood on his lips, his weakness, it all added up to tuberculosis, a rare but fatal disease of the lungs.

"I…I don't understand…" Sakura whispered.

"What…" Itachi whispered, making Sakura jump. "…I'm dying…it's that simple." Sakura was unsure of what she was feeling. This man was a murderer, an S-ranked criminal who had killed his entire clan. And further, he had tortured Sasuke and Naruto all these years. Still…

"Good." She said. But she felt somewhat sorry for Itachi. He was definitely ill, and she knew he had to be in terrible pain. She looked him over. He looked weak and helpless, and instead of taking advantage of his vulnerability, she wanted to help him. She felt confused.

"Can you…help me?" Itachi asked weakly.

"Why should I?"

"Hm." He replied with a trembling half-smile. "Because you don't want to let me die." Sakura gasped a little. Itachi raised his head and gazed into her emerald eyes. "Nothing is hidden from these eyes." Sakura had had enough. She pulled a kunai, and sliced out, stopping a millimeter from Itachi's neck. Without flinching, he stayed motionless.

"Tell me about Sasuke." Sakura commanded. Itachi smiled weakly again.

"He's my brother." He whispered.

"I know that." Sakura growled. "I want to know where he _is_!"

"As do I."

"Why…so you can kill him?" Sakura said angrily. "I won't let you touch Sasuke!"

"You know nothing of it!" Itachi shouted, trying to sit up. He collapsed, and coughed violently a moment.

"Oh no?" Sakura asked. "I know more than you think. And I think you're searching for Sasuke to finish what you started."

"Damn fool." Itachi coughed. He narrowed his eyes at Sakura. "He's searching for _me._"

"To kill you."

"Yes."

"Well why don't I save him the trouble?" Sakura said, gripping her kunai tightly.

"It must be he that kills me." Itachi replied. "For it all to be ended." Again, Sakura was caught off guard.

"For…what to be ended?" She asked.

"You will know." Itachi answered.

"I'm getting sick of your little riddles!" Sakura cried, raising her kunai. She stabbed down, but Itachi grabbed her wrist in mid-swing.

"You know I could destroy you if I wanted." Itachi said unemotionally.

"Well why don't you?" Sakura asked through clenched teeth.

"Sentimental, I guess." Itachi remarked. He raised his free hand to his chin with his first two fingers extended. Sakura knew he was about to attempt a jutsu and flinched, expecting to face the dreaded sharingan. Instead, she heard him groan. His grip on her wrist weakened, and he dropped his arm. She opened her eyes. He was laying collapsed, as if exhausted.

"Heh." Sakura laughed. "You're too weak to work any jutsu." Itachi groaned again. "You tell me what I want to know about Sasuke, and I'll help you."

"Very well." Itachi whispered, his eyes closed. "I'm not searching for Sasuke…I'm waiting for Sasuke to come to me…once he fulfills his destiny, it will be done. He will finally…have peace."

"You want…Sasuke to kill you?" Sakura asked.

"What I have said…is all you needed to know."

"But why?"

"Why do you think I allowed Sasuke-kun to live all those years ago?" Itachi replied, answering the too-important question with another too-important question.

"I…I don't know." Sakura answered, then she realized that Itachi had referred to his brother as 'Sasuke-kun'. It still didn't add up.

"I committed a serious evil." Itachi whispered, as if barely able to form words. "And I let my little brother live to complete the cycle…he is the only one…who can." He groaned and went limp, like a man loosing consciousness. Sakura reached into her small pouch.

"Here…" She said comfortingly, producing a syringe. "I'll give you this sedative for the pain you must be in. Then I'll work a medical jutsu on you. I can't reverse the damage already done, but I might be able to heal you enough to live…"

"Long…enough…" Itachi managed to sigh.

"Yeah." She replied. Sakura injected the tranquilizer into Itachi's neck, and waited for the serum to take effect. Soon, Itachi seemed to relax. He inhaled deeply and went peacefully to sleep. Sakura placed her hands over his chest, and began to pour healing chakra into the man's ailing body. She felt the damage, and wondered how he had managed to go on this long in his condition. Working her jutsu, the young woman sat back and waited for Itachi to awaken, knowing it could take some time. She studied his features, his long black hair, his soft, pale skin. She blushed. She was kind of ashamed to admit that she thought he was handsome…more so than Sasuke even. Her thoughts were broken by Itachi groaning. She put a hand on his shoulder, and he let out a sob. She knew that he must be having a nightmare, a side effect from the drug.

"O…Obito…" Itachi gasped. Sakura sat watching, silently pondering what the unconscious man was thinking, what delirious images were going through his feverish mind. Still, Sakura recognized the name he had uttered, and wondered about the connection.

"Rin…no….not Obito…" Itachi groaned. Sakura saw a tear run down his cheek. "…please…"

"What is this?" Sakura whispered to herself.

""Damn you…Madara…"

"Madara?" Sakura muttered.

"Not…SASUKE!" He gasped, then clenched his teeth angrily. "You won't touch Sasuke, Danzo!"

"Danzo?" Sakura repeated, realizing now that Itachi was somehow experiencing flashbacks, reliving moments of his life over as if they were actually happening. He was revealing more to Sakura than she could have ever guessed about him.

"SASUKE!" Itachi suddenly gasped, shaking Sakura from her thought. "Sasuke, I'm sorry…" he sobbed.

"Calm down, Itachi…" Sakura said softly. "…you have to relax." Itachi seemed to calm down. He slowly opened his eyes and looked up at his healer.

"Rin?" He whispered "Oh…Rin, is that you?" He slowly raised his left hand and brushed Sakura's cheek softly. She liked the feel of his fingers against her skin and a fleeting smile broke on her lips.

"No…it's me…Sakura." She replied. Itachi seemed to awaken more. He focused his gaze, and a look of sadness passed across his face.

"Ah, yes…Sakura." He sighed. "Rin was…"

"She was on Kakashi-sensei's team when he was young. I know that much." Sakura stated.

"Yes. Hm, you look like her." The ailing Akatsuki smiled. "Pretty."

"Well…" Sakura replied sheepishly, "She was my aunt."

"Hm." Itachi mused, closing his eyes. To Sakura's amazement, he clasped her hand in his. "It was…Rin who told me of Obito's…death."

"Oh." Sakura said sympathetically.

"Obito was my cousin. He was like…an older brother to me." Itachi explained. He didn't know why he felt like sharing with this girl the painful memories that had haunted him all these years, but he couldn't stop. He gripped Sakura's hand tighter. "I was too young to understand. I just knew that Obito was gone…and he would never return. She is the one who came to our home to deliver the news, and…"

"I'm sorry." Sakura said.

"I cried on her shoulder." Itachi whispered gently, sadly. Sakura was beginning to feel a pang of sadness for Itachi as she began piecing together the tortured man's tragic past. She felt herself being drawn to him, to his weakness and his strength. She looked into his deep, dark eyes, and blushed, realizing how strong the attraction was she was feeling for him now. He released her hand.

"Rin became my only tie to Obito…" Itachi continued. "Until the day she…"

"…died" Sakura finished the sentence. Itachi's face twinged with emotion a moment, and he looked away, ashamed to have betrayed his stoical shell by displaying human emotion. Sakura now repaid his earlier intimate gesture by gently caressing his cheek with her hand. Itachi looked questioningly into Sakura's eyes.

"I'm sorry…" She said again. "I never could have guessed that…"

"What?" Itachi asked, narrowing his eyes. "That I am actually more than a simple murderer?" He sat up, his face now inches from Sakura's. He drew even closer, his lips brushing her ear, sending tingles down her spine.

"You, like everyone else…" He whispered, "…judged me for one act, without questioning my reasons at all…fabricating a reality about something you do not understand…typical…human…weakness." Sakura felt like jelly, and wrapped her arms around Itachi.

"I was dumb…" Sakura muttered. "I just went by what everyone in Konoha believed. I'm sorry."

"How do you know I am not a heartless killer?" Itachi whispered slyly into the young woman's ear.

"Because you haven't killed me yet." She replied in a whisper. "And you didn't kill your clan because you wanted to…" Itachi froze for a moment.

"Hm." He said. "You _are_ observant. Or perhaps I was talking in my sleep?"

"It's true, isn't it?" Sakura implored. Itachi was silent a few seconds.

"Yes." Was the simple reply. "I murdered them all. In a single…bloody massacre, just as they say."

"Why?" Sakura asked emotionally, drawing away from Itachi.

"I…I cannot say." Itachi stated. "And it does not involve you." Sakura found herself becoming angry at Itachi.

"What about Naruto?" She exclaimed. "Do you _want_ to capture him and draw out the nine-tailed fox, or are you doing _that_ for reasons you can't say too?" Itachi laughed and coughed.

"Don't you think that if I truly wanted, the Akatsuki would have him by now?"

"Yeah, I mean…" Sakura stammered. She looked down, frustrated by her confusion and the emotions she was feeling. She looked back to see Itachi smile. He raised his right hand, and Sakura gasped instinctively, expecting an attack. To her surprise, he merely poked her on the forehead with two fingers.

"Damnit!" She grumbled. "I'm supposed to be intelligent, but I feel like I'm running in circles with you! It's so…so…"

"Confusing?" Itachi asked. "You know," He glanced away and a slight blush came to his cheeks. "you're cute." Sakura now blushed herself.

"Really?" She asked.

"But kind of annoying." He added with a grin. Sakura scoffed.

"I see where he gets it." She said.

"Hm?"

"Nothing." Sakura replied.

"Mm…Sasuke…" Itachi mused.

"You're actually more…human than Sasuke." Sakura said. Itachi looked away sadly.

"It is…my fault, you know." He said. "I am the reason Sasuke is so cold."

"I know." Sakura sighed.

"It's alright though…at least it will be after he is able to exact his revenge. Maybe then, when he finds that peace…"

"But you have to die!"

"We all do." Itachi replied grimly. "That much is set."

"But you didn't…" Sakura stammered, her voice quaking with emotion. "You don't deserve this. Your life was ruined by things you had to do. None of this was your fault, but you still have to pay for it! I mean…you were _ordered_ to kill your clan, weren't you? It just doesn't seem fair, Itachi!"

"Not much in life is." Itachi said calmly. "Birth, death, and much of what lies in between, we have little or no control over. Any of it. Fair or not." Sakura hugged him tightly, and Itachi, not used to such expressions of affection hesitated.

"Oh, Itachi…" Sakura said, "I think maybe if things were different, maybe we…"

"Hm…" Itachi replied, "Maybe…I don't know."

"God…you feel _nothing_?" Sakura gasped. "Nothing at all?" Itachi backed away sadly.

"I feel…I don't know." He sighed.

"So much pain…" Sakura whispered. "I wish…I wish I could…"

"What?" Itachi replied. Sakura leaned in close to him, their lips lightly touching. Sakura could feel his breath on her face, and smelled in it the faint scent of dead leaves, a sign of his disease. She knew the risk of what she was about to do, but she could hold back no longer. She kissed him on the lips, affectionately, tenderly. She pulled away, and was surprised to see tears in his dark eyes.

"I wish it could be so." Itachi whispered. "But you know it cannot."

"I know." Sakura replied. She smiled tragically. "But we have this moment, right?" Itachi slowly drew his arms around Sakura. She felt like warm butter in his embrace, and realized that this was the first time in her fifteen-year life that she had been held like this. She liked it…no, she loved it. What came next was breathtakingly wonderful to her. Itachi pressed his lips to hers in a passionate kiss. They held each other tightly, desperately, their bodies pressing against one another as they shared the deep, emotional expression of the strange and forbidden things that they were feeling. Sakura let herself fall back onto the ground, still holding Itachi closely. Feeling Itachi's body on top of hers, and his tongue gently playing with hers, Sakura felt the heat of blushing, and the irresistible feminine urges of her body, as if euphoria were coursing through her veins. Then suddenly, Itachi broke the intimate connection and drew back.

"Oh…" Sakura sighed giddily, "Itachi…I think…"

"Yes, Sakura-chan?" Itachi panted.

"I knew we only just met, and I know how wrong this is, but…"

"Don't say it." Itachi whispered.

"I love you, Itachi-kun.

"No you don't." Itachi sighed. He rose to his knees. Tears began to rise in Sakura's green eyes. She felt crushed, heartbroken, almost as badly as the night long ago when Sasuke had left Konoha.

"Why can't you just say it?" She said with a sniffle. "I know you feel it. Why is this so hard for you? I need to know."

"Why?" Itachi asked, his eyes sparkling with what Sakura realized were repressed tears.

"Because it's breaking my heart!" She cried. Itachi placed a finger on her lips to silence her.

"I…" He began, not knowing how to say it. He smiled a sad but beautiful smile. "I love you." Sakura smiled and ran a hand along his soft, well-toned arm. He looked down, and Sakura saw a solitary tear fall from his cheek to the dirt below.

"What's wrong, Itachi?" Sakura asked.

"It's all frightening." Itachi said.

"What is?"

"It's all the same…everything has changed since then, but it's all the same. I see that now. And you, Sakura-chan are proof of my fate…" He looked up into her face, and took her into his arms. "…and it terrifies me."

"I…I don't understand."

"You and Rin…" Itachi said. "Obito and…Sasuke."

"Yeah, they were teammates." Sakura said "I still don't get it."

"With your sensei, Hatake Kakashi."

"Yes."

"And the disciple of Naruto's teacher, Lord Jaraiya…Naruto's father."

"What?" Sakura gasped.

"Hm. You didn't know." Itachi said.

"Naruto's father…"

"It's all so clear, is it not?" Itachi said, attempting to stand. Sakura helped him to his feet. He leaned against an elm tree and stared at the ground. "Sakura…" He sighed. "…there's a terrible balance, a nightmarish quality…a fearful symmetry to it all. We are caught up in this…something far too large to comprehend, and too powerful and all-encompassing to stop." Sakura put her arm around him, and lay her head on his shoulder.

"It's okay…" She said to the man she was now certain that she loved. "Maybe we can explain everything, and it'll all be okay. Maybe you don't have to die. I can treat you and…"

"What? Sasuke and I reunite? You and I get married and live in Konoha?" He sighed. "I'm sorry, Sakura."

"Well what are we going to do?" Sakura demanded. "I love you. I want you to live, and be happy. You deserve that, just once in your life. I can make you happy, Itachi."

"Yes you can." He replied. "By forgetting all of this."

"What?" Sakura gasped. "How am I supposed to forget everything we had here? How…" Sakura protested. In an instant, Itachi had activated his sharingan. Sakura was unable to look away in time, and felt her eyes locked to his. In that short moment, he had overpowered her mind, destroying all of her memories of what had happened since her feet had touched ground after her fateful leap from the tree. She let out a gasp, and began to fall. Itachi caught her in his arms, and gently lowered her to the ground.

"I'm sorry." He whispered softly. He leaned in and kissed the unconscious girl lightly on the lips. "At least _you_ won't remember a thing." He stood, and walked to where his cloak lay. He picked it up, and turned briefly, for what he knew was a final glance at Sakura. He wiped a tear from his eye, and his face straightened in a cold, unfeeling expression.

"Damn." He muttered, then turned away from the life he could have had and the life he wanted, to face the death he knew he could not escape.


End file.
